An open letter to solicitors

Dear Solicitor (that means YOU who ring my doorbell while knocking incessantly),

I work full time from home. I have a newborn and a toddler as well as a Kinder student who has to be picked up daily. I don’t want the steaks from your truck freezer, no matter how cheap they are. Any newspapers go straight to recycling. I’ve already found Jesus. He lives in my heart, my children’s hearts and my husband’s heart. He also talks to the preacher two doors down. I don’t want you to do my yardwork, housework, or paint my house. I don’t have the money to buy from your child’s fundraiser. I don’t want Girl Scout cookies or a subscription to a magazine I’ll never have a chance to read. I’m lucky I can read the can I grab from the pantry for dinner.

Now. If you still feel like your product, service, or charity requires you to knock on my door. Go ahead. But be warned, I probably won’t be very chatty. You’ll be lucky if I’m civil and not downright rude. Better yet. Don’t knock. Call me and make an appointment! What, you don’t have my number? Then you really don’t need to talk to me huh?